I spend more time on LinkedIn these days than any other social platform. Partially because it’s free of the usual internet garbage, no political shouting matches, no viral thirst traps. But mostly because LinkedIn is the ultimate real-time case study of people in transition.
Some folks are starting new jobs. Others are saying goodbye to old ones. And then there’s the third category: the aspiring LinkedInfluencers, desperately trying to manifest engagement through overly polished career advice and vague inspirational posts.
As I work on my TruePoint Project—where I study linguistic patterns to uncover truth—I’ve come to a realization: marketers are probably the worst offenders of writing copy that says absolutely nothing. We’re trained in the art of fluff, jargon, and strategic ambiguity. But when you strip away the fancy words, what are these resume bullet points actually saying?
I present the Marketing Resume Translator for recruiters, hiring managers, and anyone who’s ever read a marketing resume and wondered, “What did this person actually do?”
This blog post was inspired by a Job Listing posted by Molly Wiley on LinkedIn. Part of her post shared this: “I was on an intake call with a hiring manager who said the VP of Brand has a sign in his office that says “Make Dope Shit” – and they want to hire people who just have that natural ability to, ya know, make dope shit.”
How does “Make Dope Shit” Translate on a resume?
“Execute innovative, high-impact creative solutions that drive engagement, enhance brand affinity, and deliver measurable results across multi-channel platforms.”
Translation: “Make Dope Shit”
But wait, there’s more. Here’s the first draft of some of the most common cliches I’ve seen on LinkedIn, marketing resumes, and personal portfolios.
Translating Marketing Resumes
Results-Driven Marketing Professional: I try to make money, not just pretty PowerPoints.
Results-Driven Marketing Professional: I try to make money, not just pretty PowerPoints.
Brand Storyteller: I can sell you a product while making it sound emotional.
Award-Winning Creative Director: Some strangers liked my work enough to give me a trophy.
Passionate About Marketing: I will enthusiastically nod in every meeting.
Innovative Growth Hacker: I ran some ads and tweaked a landing page.
Expert in Digital Strategy: I have Google Analytics open in another tab right now.
Thought Leader in the Industry: I post a lot on LinkedIn.
Data-Driven Decision Maker: I check the numbers after making my decision.
Experience in Omnichannel Marketing: I’ve sent an email and posted on Instagram.
Proven Track Record of Success: Trust me, bro.
Disruptive Marketer: I use the same “edgy” tactics as everyone else.
Proficient in MarTech Stacks: I can log in to HubSpot.
Customer-Centric Approach: I pretend to care about what people actually want.
Skilled in Agile Marketing Methodologies: I can pivot when the strategy flops.
ROI-Focused Strategist: I know what ROI stands for.
Holistic Brand Development: I picked a font and a color scheme.
Cross-Functional Team Leadership: I send emails reminding people to meet deadlines.
SEO and Content Marketing Guru: I write blog posts with the phrase “Best [Product] of 2024.”
Leveraging AI for Scalable Growth: I asked ChatGPT to write this job description.
Buzzword Bingo
Tired of sitting through marketing meetings filled with meaningless jargon? Enter Buzzword Bingo—a fun way to track just how often your team drops overused corporate phrases. Whether you’re enduring a “synergy-driven strategic alignment” discussion or a “data-driven holistic approach” pitch, this game lets you call it out in real-time. Play solo or challenge your coworkers to see who can spot the most fluff.
Try it out here: Buzzword Bingo
Marketing Resume Cliché Words & Phrases
General Marketing Fluff
- Results-driven
- Customer-centric
- Data-driven
- Passionate about marketing
- Strategic thinker
- Growth-oriented
- Proven track record
- Fast-paced environment
- Entrepreneurial mindset
- Visionary leader
- High-impact
- Agile marketer
- Go-to-market strategist
- Holistic approach
- Multi-channel expertise
- Seamless integration
- KPI-focused
Branding & Storytelling Nonsense
- Brand evangelist
- Brand storyteller
- Purpose-driven branding
- Creating compelling narratives
- Authentic engagement
- Elevating brand awareness
- Emotionally resonant campaigns
- Shaping brand identity
- Consumer-first marketing
- Building brand affinity
- Turning data into storytelling
- Leveraging cultural insights
- Humanizing the brand
- Crafting brand journeys
Growth & Performance Marketing Jargon
- Growth hacker
- Performance-driven
- Data-informed strategies
- KPI optimization
- Funnel optimization
- Scalable marketing solutions
- High-converting campaigns
- Revenue-focused initiatives
- Maximizing customer lifetime value (LTV)
- Retention-focused strategies
- Hyper-targeted segmentation
- Conversion rate optimization (CRO)
- Enhancing user engagement
- Performance benchmarking
Digital & Content Marketing Clichés
- Content guru
- SEO wizard
- Data-backed storytelling
- Content is king
- Driving organic traffic
- Engaging thought leadership
- Viral content creator
- Content that converts
- SEO-optimized assets
- Personalized content experiences
- Demand generation
- Lead nurturing expert
- Creating value-driven content
- Leveraging audience insights
Social Media & Community Management Buzzwords
- Social media ninja
- Building engaged communities
- Amplifying brand reach
- Social-first strategy
- Cutting-edge social campaigns
- Real-time engagement
- Creating shareable moments
- Platform-agnostic strategies
- Trend-driven marketing
- Influencer collaborations
- Social listening insights
- Optimizing social touchpoints
- Crafting viral moments
Advertising & Paid Media Jargon
- Paid media specialist
- Performance marketing expert
- Data-driven ad strategy
- Cross-channel media buying
- Maximizing ROAS (Return on Ad Spend)
- High-impact ad placements
- Full-funnel advertising strategy
- Media mix modeling
- Digital advertising maven
- Campaign optimization guru
- Hyper-personalized ads
- Automated audience targeting
- AI-powered ad buying
Marketing Tech & Automation Speak
- Marketing automation expert
- MarTech stack optimization
- Leveraging AI for personalization
- Tech-enabled growth strategies
- AI-powered insights
- CRM-driven campaigns
- Cross-platform integration
- API-powered solutions
- Real-time analytics
- AI-enhanced customer experiences
- Machine learning-driven marketing
- Predictive modeling
- Automating customer journeys
Leadership & Collaboration Jargon
- Cross-functional team leadership
- Stakeholder alignment
- Managing high-performing teams
- Agile project management
- Dynamic collaboration
- Scaling teams efficiently
- Transformational leadership
- Driving business impact
- Spearheading innovation
- Culture-first leadership
- Effective change management
- Empowering diverse teams
Buzzwords That Say Nothing
- Thinking outside the box
- Pushing the envelope
- Driving innovation
- Changing the game
- Next-gen marketing
- Best-in-class strategies
- Game-changing solutions
- Leveraging synergies
- Cutting-edge approaches
- Industry-leading expertise
- Disrupting the status quo
- Elevating the customer experience
